I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
