you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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