she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
