Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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