I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
