If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
