best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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