He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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