Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
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