Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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