Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize