About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
