Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
