no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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