I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
