I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
