just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
