she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
