Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Farmville is her only friend.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
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