Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
