so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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