Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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