Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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