What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
