Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
