found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
