my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize