I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
