Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Randomize
