sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize