Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
