everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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