Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
