Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
