there's paper in my vomit.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
