I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
