Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
