Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
