Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
