go do what you do best...puke behind churches
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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