are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
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