oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
