so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
