ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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