That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I am naked and annoyed.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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