found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
