Dual....:-)
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I'm always down for nudity.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
