I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I want her autograph on my taint
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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