a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize