wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
My day in three words: secret purse cake
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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