omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
