sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
