i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
