A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
