Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
