I'm gonna have a badass scar
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize