Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize