And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Randomize
