so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
