so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
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