Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
