We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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