susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
