just come out here and I will go home with you...
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Randomize
