So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
He shit in the fireplace
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
