tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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