i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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