I want to stick my p in your. b.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
The uberlube is also flammable
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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