i think my tv is drunk
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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