I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
