i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
What drink are we having for lunch?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
