using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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